When kids cry

The current issue of Entertainment Weekly reminded me that 28 years ago this week Prince’s “When Doves Cry” was the #3 song on the pop charts.  Also reminded me that I am aging.  There was Prince just ahead of Billy Idol and Huey Lewis and just behind Duran Duran.  Oh yes, 1984 it was.  It has been an ’80s week here at Salient Dictates, first Heart and now Prince.  I’m standing against a wall in my junior high cafeteria once again.

Speaking of crying, how many police officers do you think it takes to make multiple children under the age of 7 cry?  One.  If you happen to live in Apple Valley, MN and have a few fireworks on the 4th of July.  That’s right, some police officer stopped my brother-in-law mid show on Wednesday and took what she thought were all his fireworks.  The children wept openly yet the police officer didn’t relent, she gathered up those incredibly dangerous sparklers, a bunch of cans that spewed colorful sparks for a grand total of 6 seconds, and a couple of things that go boom.  This in the midst of real cannon like booms just over yonder.  Talk about doves crying.

Here’s what we should all be crying about:

Did you like that transition? Minute Maid Lemonade.  This bottle happened to be sitting on the table (the one of yesterday’s magnetic field fame) on July 4th.  Read the label closely.  Just below the USA Olympic Rings.  ”Put Good in.  Get Good Out.”  Thank you Minute Maid, you not only sponsor the Olympics but you give me good things to drink!  I feel so good now, thanks for giving me so much goodness.

Now, go just to the left of that, and below the nutrition label.  Yes, there it is, the ingredients list.  $10 to anyone who can tell me what the following are:

Natural Flavors, Potassium Citrate, Glycerol Ester of Rosin, Modified Corn Starch, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Aspartame, Acesulfame Potassium.

If you are a chemist, you can’t claim the $10.  Since when did HFCS become good?  And yes, i did forget about all the goodness of aspartame.  Yummy.  So good it makes my brain swell.  Literally.  It’s getting bigger as we speak.

“Put Good In.  Get Good Out.” strikes me as a bit odd.  An interesting connection here:  Also on the 4th of July, my brother-in-law had me take a quick 10 question quiz on the Affordable Healthcare Act (aka Obamacare).   After I completed the quiz, I received my score (10/10, thank you), and was given statistics on how others did.  Seems that people who don’t know anything about the law are against it and those that know something about the law are for it.  Across all demographics. Things that make you go hmmmm.  Same thing with lemonade.  I like lemonade and if I took Minute Maid at face value, I’d feel good about drinking it.  But the more questions I ask, the more aware I become, the less I like that lemonade in particular.  Will I drink it if it is placed in front of me?  Probably.  (Damn Higgs Boson thingy) but at least I am doing so willfully.  We all have our vices.  The point is be careful of marketing and especially of taglines when it comes to food.

In discussion with my mother the other day regarding last week’s report on low carb diets, she asked “Well then, what can I eat?”  Such a great question, and it leads me to today’s food rule.  It’s Friday, and here we go:

Today, eat only foods without labels.  Seriously, give it a try.  Apples don’t have labels.  We know what’s in them.  Apple.  Same with oranges, broccoli, and carrots.  Last night my partner made an incredible beet salad.  Who knew I liked beets so much!  And for our 4 month old, try some more breast milk.  The last time I checked breasts didn’t have food labels either.  Must be good for kids.  Minute Maid lemonade?  Not so much.

Happy Friday.